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Anger and Your Driving: Use Self-Talk to Create Safer Vistas
Date: January 28, 2001 Place: Fashion Island, Newport Beach, California The incident: Jane, a middle aged professional woman had an altercation with another woman who accosted her after she refused to give up her parking spot. Jane clearly...
Book Review: Stop Picturing Your Audience Naked
Author: Scott Ann Setzer
Publisher: Setzer & Associates
Publisher Address: 2580 Sierra Blvd. Suite C , Sacramento, CA 95825, 800-767-6316
Publisher Website Address: http://www.StandUpAndTalk.com
ISBN: 0-9768250-0-7
Price: $12.95 ...
Five Ways to Reduce Environmental Stress - Part Two
It’s time for part two of the series to reduce environmental stress in your life. In Five Ways to Reduce Environmental Stress - Part One, I shared with you five ways you can immediately reduce stress by controlling your...
How to Recognize Stress Before it Turns Into Anger
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled into his driveway. The children’s toys were scattered on the walkway to the house.
He immediately began noticing slight tension in his muscles and apprehension in his stomach.
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The High Costs of Anger (Part 2)
‘Dr. Fiore,’ the voice on the phone pleaded, ‘I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it’s over until I get help.’ As Kevin recounted the first night of class, he and his girlfriend had...
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The One Thing You Must Add to Your Day
As we close the gap between physical, mental and emotional health, realizing that they all influence one another, it’s becoming more evident that attitude makes a difference. It isn’t so much what’s happening, as how we feel about what’s happening.
I’m reminded of a visit to my obstetrician some years ago, when pregnant with my second child and delighted. He told me how nice it was to have someone so happy in his office. “49% of my patients are pregnant and don’t want to be, and 49% aren’t pregnant and want to be.” So, the same news delivered, you should pardon the expression, brought different feelings.
You're probably aware that being optimistic and resilient can help you with any task or challenge, but have you considered gratitude? An attitude of gratitude?
When you're able to focus on the positive things going on and to be grateful for them, it lessens stress and tension and helps you do your work and be more pleasant and loving. It accomplishes one very important thing: it keeps you from dwelling on the things that are going wrong.
Have often have you focused on the one thing that went back during a day and ignored all the many things that went well?
Here are some ways you could put this into action in your life.
·At work, suggest at meetings, or around the watering hole that each person mention something that’s gone well that day.
·Start a journal yourself of things you’re grateful for each day.
·Suggest to your partner that when you get home at night, you’ll each mention the good things that happened that day, before the bad, along with the bad, or in place of the bad.
·Start training your children to talk about the good things that have happened. When your child laments, “I didn’t do well on the spelling test today,” ask them to name something they did do well at.
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·Have a regular time for the family to express gratitude.
·Express your gratitude to the people at work who help you or makes things run more smoothly.
But don’t stop with these ideas.
Discuss this concept with your colleagues, employees and family. Ask them for suggestions. When we take part in the planning and figure things out, we’re more invested.
No matter how “bad” you think your day has gone, there are dozens of things that go well. Burning the dinner amounts to an hour’s worth of time, while you successfully completed the grocery-shopping, found a parking place, cleaned the kitchen, found the perfect gift for your mother-in-law, read to the children, and many other things.
You may have failed to get a donation from a certain donor, but you engaged some new volunteers, organized your office filing system, got a call from the press, got a grant accepted, and got a compliment from your boss on how well things were going.
When we focus only on what goes wrong, we magnify it way out of proportion. From the minute you wake up in the morning feeling good and having a house and food on the table, to the time you tuck the children in bed at night and crawl into the clean sheets with your honey, there is much to be grateful for.
Focusing on the positive, and being grateful for what goes right, feels good, works out, and succeeds can make your day go a lot better – and possibly affect your health as well.
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Career, transition, relationship, resilience, stress management and balance. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. Looking for a new career? I train and certify EQ coaches. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement. Email me for information.
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